Relationships are the essence of human connection, offering both immense fulfillment and inevitable challenges. Whether it’s with family, friends, or romantic partners, our interpersonal bonds play a crucial role in shaping our lives. While each relationship is unique, there are universal principles and practices that can help nurture and strengthen them. Here are 7 actionable tips to enhance the quality of your relationships:

1. Put down your phone: We all do it. It’s so easy to get sucked into scrolling on our phones, checking messages or just looking something up really quick. When spending time with loved ones, resist the urge to constantly check your phone. Phones do help us stay connected to the world, but they also distract us from the people right in front of us. Set boundaries around phone usage, designate screen-free zones, and prioritize face-to-face communication. When you go to lunch with a friend, try to ignore your phone. When you get home to your family or roommates, set your phone aside for the evening or choose a set period of time where everyone agrees that phones are off limits. Be fully engaged in conversation with eye contact and full attention. By being fully present in the moment, you’ll deepen your connections and create lasting memories.
2. Listen to understand, not to reply: Many of us regularly plan ahead and want to be ready for the next thing. This is often helpful, but not in conversation. Planning your response, rather than fully listening, is the way to make someone close to you feel unheard and not important. It can even cause arguments to last longer and not accomplish anything. Focus on really understanding what the other person is saying. Listen with empathy, ask clarifying questions, and validate their feelings. By demonstrating genuine interest and attentiveness, you’ll foster trust and mutual respect in your relationships. After you fully understand, your reply will be much more genuine, and the other person will be more likely to fully listen to you as well. This is important when you’re just having casual conversation or sharing things you agree about. It’s even more important when you are debating or arguing. Feeling heard and understood softens most people and will make the conversation much more productive.
3. Set aside time to interact with each other: As with phones, we are a society that is constantly entertained. Playing video games or watching a show or movie is a fun thing to do together…sometimes. Shared experiences create lasting bonds and memories that strengthen relationships over time. Instead of relying solely on passive entertainment like watching TV or scrolling through social media, seek out activities that promote interaction and connection. Whether it’s cooking a meal together, embarking on an outdoor adventure, or attending a workshop or class, find opportunities to engage in meaningful experiences that bring you closer together.
4. Talk about things that bother you: It can feel like just letting go of things that bother you is the best way to maintain peace and have a good relationship. This is true…partly. There are times to just let things go. You don’t want to bring up every little thing that annoys you or even make a big deal if your friend or partner is having an occasional bad day and wasn’t their usual caring self. The problem is when this happens over and over again and you aren’t really letting it go, you are stuffing your frustration down. This will eventually cause an explosion. Rather than avoiding difficult conversations or sweeping issues under the rug, approach conflicts with honesty, empathy, and a willingness to find solutions. In healthy relationships there needs to space to share when you are not feeling cared for or are concerned by the other persons words or actions. When people spend time together, there are bound to be some things that need to be worked out. By addressing issues head-on and working through them together, you’ll build resilience and trust in your relationships.
5. Cultivate Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a fundamental skill for building strong relationships. Along with being willing to bring up hard things, you need to be able to listen to hard things too. When someone close to you shares something that upsets them, try not to be defensive. Use the strategy above and fully listen to what they are saying. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, validate their emotions, and demonstrate compassion and understanding. Share that you can understand how they could feel the way they do. Offer sincere apologies when necessary, take responsibility for your actions, and make amends to repair any harm done. After they are fully heard, there should be space for you to explain where you were coming from and why you behaved the way you did. By cultivating empathy in your relationships, you’ll create a supportive and nurturing environment where all parties feel heard and valued.
6. Focus on the Positive: In a world filled with negativity and criticism, it’s important to actively seek out and acknowledge the positive aspects of your relationships. Take time to appreciate the unique qualities and strengths of the people in your life, and express gratitude and admiration for their contributions. Offer genuine compliments, express appreciation for their efforts, and celebrate their successes and accomplishments. By focusing on the positive aspects of your relationships, you’ll create a culture of appreciation and affirmation that strengthens your bond.
7. Stay Connected: Regular communication is essential for maintaining strong and healthy relationships, especially in today’s fast-paced world. Make a concerted effort to stay in touch with your loved ones, whether it’s through text messages, phone calls, or face-to-face meetings. Text your spouse just to say you’re thinking about them. Schedule regular check-ins to catch up, share updates, and offer support and encouragement with family and friends. Show genuine interest in their lives, ask about their day, and listen attentively to their concerns. By staying connected and engaged in each other’s lives, you’ll reinforce the bonds of friendship, love, and mutual respect that form the foundation of strong relationships.

Building strong relationships takes time, effort, and commitment, but the rewards are immeasurable. Cultivate empathy, communicate openly, and prioritize meaningful connection, and watch as your relationships flourish and thrive. If certain relationships or all relationships are a struggle for you, I would be honored to walk with you to support you in incorporating these tips as well as strategies unique to your situation and relationships.